AJARAN SONGSANG

Hm... Kalau dah pemalas memang pemalaslah. Ko madah jak mok explore hobi baru lah, bizi kedirik lah, masa sunyik baruk gago mok nge-on blog nak? Mun ndak baca ajak lah...

Hi.... Lamak sik nanga kitak, sapa jak maca belog angit tok. Lamak mek meranto ke alam khayalan mek tek nak, lamak sik ngabas belog. Lalang dah sama tinggi urang. Pa polah kinek? Wah... Nampaknya datang mood nge-tag tek nak? Semua belog urang berias gown kach2 anggun2 gitew, meleleh nafsu. Ok la kitak urang rajin koh... Mek malas na wak.

Tapi kan... Lamak sik ngapdet hal anak2 ngan laki bini, mok juak nulis kan? Kedong sikda papa mok di share. Adalah hari ya, si Darrien tek nanyak bapaknya,

'Daddy what we call the place we play benminten?'

Jawablah tek panjang lebar berexample segala bapaknya, madah ya badminton court, tennis main rah tennis court, basketball tek di basketball court. Sampeylah sigek soalan trick nya tek... Bapaknya tanyak, football play where lah? Ingat tek nya jawab football court, kan patutnya football field tek? Paduhal, nah spoiler...

'AFRIKA'

sik leput kau? Parai kita asal mok main bola ngagak Afrika.

Baby Joy dah besar ko... Dah dara, pi skalor juak la kerenahnya. Sik lamak dolok tek nak, neneknya ngajar... Mun tertumpah barang pegi amik kain kakya lap, pandey dah nya. Tapi kinek tok, datang idea nya, mun tumpah barang makan, tapok dibah pinggan, hah - kau ada? Ariya nya nenen pagi la tek, abis nenen tinggal sikit jak rah burit botol diengkah nya di hujung palak tilam, kakya gugok... Tertumpah la sikit nenen nya. Ditegur mek, 'Tumpah nenen ya, how now?'. Ingat tek mok berekot keluar pegi sinki amik kain k ngelap, paduhal ditolak nya bantal ke sia nutup area nenen tumpah. 'Na...no more'. Adeh...

Bah... Lain kali gik, apa tek, mek ngait beg dah kinek tok, dah siap lak mek upload k. Mok order boleh juak, tapi mahal la, mwahahahaha.....

SPERMA MAN

haha tak jadi pencen, Najib kasi elaun pencen so nak pencen tua la. Blogging sampai beruban. Apalah alkisah arini? OK... merujuk kepada tajuk di atas, I have an essay to write.

Tapi memandangkan hamba sungguh pemalas maka hamba pendekkan cerita kepada beberapa siri. Starts with...

SEX CATERING

overheard somewhere at airport cafeteria.

makcik A : laki si MIMI ada skandal lahh.... lama dah, tu hal la so sedih all the time.
makcik B : sapa? kita kenal kah?
A - ala.....seketeri dia la, sexy Betty tuh!
B - oh wau!!! in that case she provides sex catering. well kind of Monica Lewinsky-ish.

ME ; ---smile---


SPERMA MAN

you all know my baby Joy is a mouthful right now. One time we brought her to a game floor in a supermarket. Main kuda statik token 50 sen rides, main street fighter machine, drift king race an so on... so when we parents had enough already and the kids screaming wanting more, we had to sweeten our way with ice cream offer. then we go for McD's ice cream and swhile we sit and wait for movie time, bah suddenly Joy shouted out loud, made people laugh and adults give us unwanted stares.

Mommy!!!! SPERMA MAN!!!

lama lah mak fikir2, until one time my eyes stop at one candy shop, there it was, the great SUPER MAN. anak aku... berik malu sungguh.

MOVIE EXPERIENCE

Hi you all....How's raya? Ada have fun? Your kiddos kaya raya hari raya ka kumpul angpau? haha... As for me I had fun WORKING in a very spooky empty building for so many of you cuti raya for 2 weeks. Sunyinya.......

Ok back to said topic, my JOY sudah ada extra resume lah, watching movie in the theatre itself! Not any movie, she debuted with PIRANHA! Tapi too bad we entered the theatre a few minutes late so lampu dah padam, she screamed her head off - MOMBOKKKKKK!!!!! LoLz. But the after a few minutes she settled and sitting at MrVai's lap she savoured her unlimited popcorns and a large Wa [coke]. Not long into the movie she made the audience laugh hard when she screamed - eeeChak!!! again LoLz. But I'm proud of her for being brave because while many girls in the room closed their eyes JOY was all eyes and at awe with the huge screen and loud sound.

Talking about PIRANHA you people know I'm a DVD addict and can go on a long run 'hilang' sekejap menagih movie. As a true hunter I always get the kind of DVD version most of you mere mortals can only hope to have, so to say I can sometimes or most of the time dig out uncensored version. That mafaka PIRANHA you see in theatre had been chopped and diced to small fine or microscopic portions. You don't get to see the awesome parts like the 'boobs shaggin-naked duyung pair under the fibreglass boat, tequila on belly button/lick salt sprinkled on tummy and bla-bla-bla. Oh and also even the piranha tak teringin nak makan dick of the major asshole of a guy, kena muntah balik. Plus....Plus the cool part when cable terputus from the collapsing stage potong badan aweks in vertical cut putus setengah, kena potong lembaga cencorship pasal can see her boobies after the cut caused her bra to fall off. Lame sungguh lembaga cencorship kita, killjoy sungguh.

Whatever it is, we had fun yesterday night, lepas ni cari cerita kartun pulak, since she can sit still and watch. Have a good week fellas, love your family, love yourself.

XOXO

My Baby Now A DIVA

Hehe sama la dengan tajuknya, update pasal si kecik, baby Joy dah pandai mengomel sikit2. So pandai la dia mengarah-ngarah kita, macam diva.

Dia dah pandai pilih konsep pakaian woi, takla spesifik which one but she can decide to wear pants or dresses. Ada selera kau.

Masa main LEGO dia mesti suruh anybody 'shidan' dengan dia sambil tangan kecil dia tepuk2 lantai sebelah dia, suruh teman main cucuk2, buat kereta tinggi2, senapang beng-beng. Lepas tu kalau dah fedup dia buang merata je toys dia. Tapi kalau suruh susun pun dia buat jugak, a good thing she practices play and keep.

Kalau kena tegur pula dia buat drama, kalau tak nangis dia marah kita balik.

Masa makan, tak payah suap2, dia makan sendirik macam hebat dowh. Biar bersepah biar sememeh dia nak makan sendiri jugak.

Pendek kata baby Joy dah tau apa dia nak, apa dia nak kita buat, have her own opinion lah katakan... Right now demanding sungguh, sampai tarik2 baju, seluar, apron suruh buat suruhan dia on the dot. Penat layan anak, aku larat nak baca je blog kawan2. No comment. So have fun you all, enjoy your weekend. Tata.

ANAK AKU DAH TAU *&%@#$#$%$%^^

ye sedara dan sedari anak aku dah pandai mengarut.. as a mom aku rasa nak spank anak aku tapi she's so adorable so sabar je lah bukan dia faham pun. and I have to accept bad words comes first, well at least she's making sentences. OK dah tengah malam aku ringkaskan cerita.

Situasi 1 ;
me - Joy come pasang pampers
Joy - ngai, ngegeh, piiirah! [blame MrVai, he tought her]

#ngai = don't want
ngegeh = terhegeh-hegeh, mengada-ngada, kenja kata kita nak?

Situasi 2 ;
me - time for nap, come.
Joy - piyo?
me - go find your piyo.
Joy - weyuput? [where you put?]

Situasi 3 ;
me - mommy go work ok Joy stay home, don't be naughty k sayang.
Joy - Jojoy fowo?

Situasi 4 ;
she'd been napping, wake up, and look for me.
- where mommy? mami ja [kerja]...
hearing that I feel so kasihan.



SO kepada yang single, enjoy la rehat puas2, melancong, dah ada anak they're very demanding. you barely have time for yourself. GOODNIGHT fellas. Love ya'll.

KAMUS ANAK-ANAK

ermmm...nothing much, busy mothering, busy working and mostly back to reading. But now as of right now I'm indulging YouTube.

OK see there? Right next to the lattest post is Kamus Anak-Anak. Since I can't really put my fingers on their daily diary, I keep up with the kids lingo. It's fun trying to get what they say and frustrating when they are jumping and crying but you can't seem to understand. My most recent headscratching time was yesterday. Mr Vai was nice doing us lunch and one of the dish is stalky and leafy choy sum fried with egg, then little Joy suddenly shouted ' I wan jujuk!!!'. I tried to ask her what jujuk is but she kept on saying jujuk again and again while pointing towards the dining table. Mr Vai came to rescue when he simply lift her up and make her point to the exact jujuk. Apparently to her, jujuk means the juicy stalk part or if it is today's case it also applies to long beans. There you go problem solved, all the way being mother I couldn't have missed that skill. So now I'm keeping roll on her daily new words and for you guys to read too.

have a nice day, and enjoy it!

Feel Like Crying For No Reason?

A friend e-mailed to me, a real tear jerker. I just cry, my mom is now in heaven and I can really understand the kid. Let's cry together. sobs~


4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:

"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles.. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was
afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten.. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did
not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in every passer-by...Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.

My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say.....

I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldnt help opening the letter before they turn to ash.

And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy,

I miss you so much! Today, there was a ‘Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room.. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think.. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why havent you appear?


After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....


For the females with children:
Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.


For the married men:
Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients.
Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable. Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.


For those singles out there:
Beauty lies in loving yourself first. With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.

MOTHER'S DAY

Mulakan harimu dengan sengihan - sungguh tak ikhlas. Ok mulakan harimu dengan senyuman.

Another day another story but today is a different story because it is not like every other day it is MUMMIES DAY - imagine zombified moms. I'm not going to sing praise about my mothering skills but I'll spin and tweak it a little to my own daily version. Being a mother to a hyper-vitagen-sugared-peanuts-protein 2 year old daughter and a stepmother (yes, you got it right) to an emo-rebel-potty mouthed 7 year old son is not FUN, it's both tiring and trying. While I'm likely to be the undesired police in the house my kids get along very well with each other, and their dad. There's no half sibling or step sibling in the house. Darrien and Joy are unseparable, put the daddy into the mix they will be ice kacang and leave me to be the straw- get what I mean?

Character breakdown starts with DADDY;
Very able in many ways - excellent cook, sporting clown, the 'yes you can' authority and practically the DON of the house. Our kids adore him, daddy can't be wrong-daddy is great-daddy is so cool-and whatever superb. If the kids have anything they wish to have, it's their daddy who gets the nudge and rants. When they play/which I'm not so good at, they bring down the house to rubble. Means...mommy will tidy up, it's OK, just play. I once go to sleep at 2 a.m. cleaning baby Joy's scribble on our kitchen wall and clear the kitchen after Darrien & Dad played Jamie Oliver. Daddy being nice decided to teman me cleaning and made me hot milo to end-and a good neck massage. His words always being 'you'll miss the moment' really helps me calm down. But still, when the need arises for him to be strict you'll see the kids making beeline behind me. I always smile at that scene.

Big Brother Darrien (he was 3 when we first met and peed on my lap, sleeping)
Potty-mouthed yes, BIG TIME. At 7 years old it is impossible to stop him from discovering foul words especially when this is the boy who travel 3 residences; our's, his mother's and the gramps. He has a lot of cousins and of various age range, a recipe to disastrous lingo. He's very aware of your every words or statement and that leads to an emo kid sitting on the stair if you don't watch what you say. A very certain personality he knows what he wants and if restrained will rebel his way through. His attention span is 5 mins. Give him a new toy he will get over with it the day after. No matter how expensive the toy is, it will still break down. He's with us mostly on weekends only so he gets free pass from being grounded. However he can be very sweet and considerate, taking care of baby Joy when he knows I'm too tired to run around the house after them both and doing chores at the same time. And very good looking too. Here's the lovely part, his mother refused for him to call me anything equaling to mother so he joined his dad calling me 'dear'. *adorable* imagine him calling me that at 17, priceless.

Baby Joy
This is the one baby to whom every nursery will close their door. Very hyperactive and super loud. She zips around like energizer bunny, climbing anything like spiderwho, thrash around like we have 3 maids at our disposal. Our own Picasso I think I'll paint our walls BLACK from tiring days cleaning walls and floor. Very cute with her naturally golong @ curly hair but I'd advise you not to be fooled by that, she bites and screams like screeching tires. I think she's auburn, lol. She eats a little but takes everything that comes her way. Chocolate @ chet is always available thanks to her designated Aunty Mamam. Her daddy introduced Coke to her months before her first birthday, with that amount of sugar...HYPER. Joy's vocabulary for now are very limited and somehow I found myself understanding among others

mam - eat / ding - drink / chet - chocolate / brrr - coke / kakut ya - takut ya
kakit - sakit / hee hoo - bathtime / smeyee - smelly / o'oi - sleep

~17 months with her aunty Mamam~

*relevan lah tu, the kotak was Happy Meal Box*

Combine the 3 'monsters' we have a real life moniker of 'How To Train A Dragon' . I'm the trainer with 3 dragons. Their antics are impossible, their mess unbearable, the noise numbing but take one away and I'll be miserable. Like Mr Vai said, our life might be 'tonggang langgang' but we do have a wonderful one. Mothering may not be fun, but seeing the kids growing up great and at the right path is rewarding. I only hope I have enough patience and resource to face their teenage years. That I think will be more challenging, right now it's all naughty and cute. So far, I think I did just fine. Although everytime I end my day looking like mummy I surely did enjoy my day being mommy to my kids. There...

Adorable kids+Cool Dad+Miserable Mom= Happy Family


HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY EVERYBODY
make it everyday

p.s: bah, apa lagi. yang single2 ya bila gik? on a side note, my birth mother died before I was 3, so my stepmom cared for me just about the same age I took Darrien. the similarity, I feel her.

BABY JOY AND DADDY *update*

~Sedihnya rasa hati, Baby Joy birthday 17 Mei nanti, she'll turn 2 and guess what? Her beloved daddy won't be there blowing candles with her like yesteryear~

Perangai makin naughty, kobek-kobek and throwing tantrum and what nots I just can't seem to handle. Nak aku spank-kan nanti masa nangis dia psycho aku balik, calling her 'daddy', when she knows he isn't there. Tak ke sebak aku, rasa bersalah lagi ada. These two 'monsters' are so close I can't get my way with any one. If I 'pap' the daddy the baby will 'pap' me. If I scold the baby the daddy will animatedly 'pap' me to cheer baby up.

Now that the daddy is away I'm left with this guilty feeling whenever I have to discipline her 'a bit'. And I know Mr Vai misses Baby Joy more than he misses me. But when she's sleeping she looks so angelic and all my day's problem seems so distant. All the wonders of being a temporary single mum.

~ 6 months and napping with daddy~

*note the same sleeping posture*

~dear...I miss you!

MY DAUGHTER'S FIRST BYE-BYE

Having a daughter is a blessing to me,much more pleasure than pain I felt the day I gave birth to her. And now seeing her grow up and learning everyday gives me sheer happiness and joy.




Today I was preparing breakfast for my 8 months-old baby and my husband was getting ready to go to work. She suddenly went running in her walker towards daddy,raised her arm and started to twirl her wrist as if she was gesturing bye-bye. My husband saw her and went extatic they went waving back at each other over and over.




Had you spent a small sum of time,looking around for a moment of instant happiness and a moment to cherish forever. Just a moment of joy to cheer up the whole day.