Sunday, August 1, 2010

SET THE TABLE, GET THE BALL ROLLING

Hi...

It's been tiring the whole week, we had thanksgiving prayer for my bro in-law who recently got promoted and transferred to Labuan Shell starting tomorrow! Man....I did deep-frying the whole day I even fried my thumb! Anyway back to the topic, what is it all about? Friend of mine sort of hit the rock with his wife over what I think is inane issue. So this post goes out to you D. Ladies and gentlemen can all benefit from this.

Well, most of us married couples don't talk much about issues because issues lead to argument and that is ugly. Be it money, time management, kids, hygiene or anything many couples simply avoid bringing up issues that can provoke disagreement. However by doing so, you are actually doing something called 'bottle-necking' and the burst is going to be messy.

I argue a lot with MrVai. I love him so much but still I hit on that red button every time I feel that he needs some correction and so does he. I never allow myself to go to sleep with unsolved issues. God gave you mouth and that voice so that you can speak for yourself. Women always act their way through and men hate that. Be realistic he can't read your mind! Just be careful on how are you going to bring it up.

Myself I prefer starting while I'm washing the dishes. Just an example for you because I think during that time I'll have my attention or anger channeled to the water, bubbles and plates. I'd be less critical and try not to be cynical. Cynical is what most men despise. It doesn't help solving anything but it fans on the anger. Focus on what wrong he did, not him as a person so be wise to say "I don't think gambling is good for our household economy" instead of "You gamble wayyyy to much we're close to broke". Address the issue spot-on as possible so avoid beating around the bush.

Once he gives you that attention, calm down and bring it to the table. Give him your points clearly and orderly so he can follow what you say. Tell him why you think he needs to change his certain way and how it affects you and your relationship with him. When you're done, let him talk and share his opinion. He might not agree completely with you but be kind to tolerate too. No man change overnight. Talk more on how to adjust and rearrange everything. While doing so don't be hesitant to apologise even if it's not your fault. It works and will gain you respect, I know because I do that.

So don't be afraid to voice out your thoughts, doubts, concern or fear. Bring it up - and find a solution. Be rational and argue in a civilised manner, I don't want some flying saucers over my head. It's OK to be angry but there's always a way for everyone to be happy winning and losing at the same time.

Till then, bye.....muah!!!

10 comments:

施以王雅玲音 said...

聰明人之所以不會成功,是因為他們缺乏了堅忍的毅力。..................................................

fLo said...

weee~~~ good advise...
my bf n me always had an argument coz of small things...huh~~~
but rarely discuss on how to solve the problem..
end up the same probs come again and argue on the same probs...aaahhhh...wut a tired life!!!

Hajib said...

nang betol padah dirik.. cara klaka ngan laki ialah berondeng bukannya mengkondem... cara mesti betol and how you react sangat2lah important.

AmirFX said...

Polah tauk jak mula2... Kakya bok jawab ngn tenang... Lepas ya bok polah lawak.. Tetak sama2.. Lepas ya katup pintu bilit... Jeng3... haha..

建邱勳 said...

心中醒,口中說,紙上作,不從身上習過,皆無用也。..................................................

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Joynstar, good for you. Never keep inside, lepas handbrake....
and I have always believed, listening + communication = understanding.
No relationship, no marriage doesn't have its hiccups....mother in law, out laws, money, babies, lots of things can start the hiccups, but better sprinkle with some humour, and it helps eases putting any bandages later, ha ha.

You stay easy and have a great weekend, Lee.

周俊許佳蓉安 said...

朋友是一面鏡子............................................................

宗环 said...

困難的不在於新概念,而在於逃避舊有的概念。......................................................................

Faizal n Fashitah said...

Very good advice!
Kamekduak laki bini pun ada juak argument kecik2 pasal bila sebna nya tarikh posa dan bila tarikh raya. Mun sik dibincang lak, ujong2 siktauk bila urang posa ba. Ya bok sik merik2 jak makan ais kacang rah swee kang time bulan posa..

joynstar said...

Hi U'ollz,

Things you already knew yet mau juga tulis bagi korang baca nyah! Thanks for commenting, can't go 1 on 1 so generally yeah, thank you for reading. Love you all.